You’ve heard this before, I know…

So why is it that so many of the current bands simply SUCK at performing live?  They release a fine studio recording, which is all good, but their live show is a big let down.  I’ve had the good fortune (or misfortune depending on how you look at it) of listening to a handful of bands recently on tour, and it is with great displeasure that I tell you that more than a few of these well-known acts simply SUCK! Actually it’s MOST OF THEM SUCK at performing live.

They either can’t sing in tune, or they can’t play their instruments, or they cannot tune their instruments.  Apparently, their guitar techs can’t tune their shit either.  Just as bad, they will end up with 3 or 4 guitar amps on stage THAT ALL SOUND THE SAME!  Are you kidding me?  Don’t they have a manager who listens to the sound check or who attends their rehearsals?  Don’t they know these guys suck?

It’s called PRACTICE, my friends.  Practice with your instrument and we wouldn’t have these problems!  I mean, if you’ve taken the time to compose and record what you think are some pretty cool songs, wouldn’t you want to at least be able to play what you’ve written?

Something else that bothers me is the fact that those attending the shows don’t seem to care either.  They scream and applaud and carry the torch, obviously oblivious of the fact that their favorite band actually SUCKS!  I guess being tone deaf or rhythmically challenged is a virtue.

What happened to the craft of making a record?  Of going into the studio and not expecting the engineer to just fix everything you can’t or are too lazy to perform correctly?  Of rehearsing until your fingers bled? Of knowing your songs backwards so that when you did get a chance to be on stage, you just killed it?

Now I know what you are thinking.  You think I’m just an angry geezer whose cynacism out weighs his love of the music he is so fortunate to be involved with.  Am I biting the hand that feeds me, sort of thing.  Well maybe so, but I think it’s time we demand better.  You are the ones paying for the tickets, paying for the records or downloads (you are paying right?).  So why not demand better?  It’s your money.

“TUNE YOUR GUITAR!”

Let’s face it, December is traditionally a weak month and this year I am doing f-all.  I will mix your song for cheaper than you think!  No, not for free, but most likely within your budget.  Contact me for more info at: info@intonato.com

Happy Holidays!

Is this guy really that stupid or is he a brilliant publicity whore?  How convenient is it that he creates all of this cockless drama just before his appearance on Jay Leno’s new waste of time?  A soft interview in which Jay plays the “dead mom” card.  Please.  It all smells like dog shit.  Selfish Assbag.  Excuses?  Maybe he was all worked up over fellow Douche Joe Wilson calling Obama a “liar?”  He wanted to get back at “The Man.”  Or maybe he was distraught over Serena Williams’ recent outburst at the U.S. Open?  Maybe his latest supply of M•A•C Cosmetics didn’t get delivered in time for the VMA’s?  No matter what the excuse… Kanye West:  Douche-o-matic.

I could blabber and blubber on and on like everyone else, but I just don’t think it’s necessary.  Everyone knows the significance of MJ’s influence on the music business.  Where have you been, in a cave?

For me, Michael Jackson was The Jackson 5, and then, when I was older, “Thriller.”

Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in Buffalo, New York, music was one of my true escapes.  The Jackson 5 were among a handful of “song factories” as I like to refer to them, that I bought into as a kid.  45’s were king, and I coveted them like gold nuggets.  I’d save my money and have my mom or dad get me to a retail outlet where I could score the latest.  Back home, up in the bedroom, drop that needle on that record and wham!  I was on the beach in L.A. or walking down what I imagined the streets of NYC were like.  I was only 6 or so, but I was a bad-ass 6 year old in my mind.  Michael WAS the Jackson 5, and everyone my age wanted to be like him.  A jump rope became a microphone and off you went.

By the early 80’s, I was listening mostly to Rock, Blues, New Wave and Punk.  I was writing my own songs and thought I was moving forward.  Not much room for Pop or R&B (Reticent & Boring), but when “Thriller” dropped, EVERYONE listened.  I can remember being fully involved with The Jam, The Clash, The Police, etc. when I first heard “Billie Jean.” The way the kick and snare pounded like sex, mercilessly, with Michael’s almost sinister vocal delivery, my ears cocked to attention.  The production was so clean and open but full of energy.  ”And Eddie Van Halen has a solo on another song,”  someone said.  I was apologetic at my local record store, but the cat who was familiar with me said, “Don’t worry, everyone’s buying this record, and besides, the chicks DIG this shit.”  And to me, that is the essence of Michael Jackson’s popularity:  punks bought his record, new wave hipsters bought his record, some rockers and jazzers bought his record, moms and dads bought it.  You don’t know it, but your dog was rocking to that shit.  Pretty much all inclusive.  Who else had those bragging rights?  Let’s start counting because I don’t think it will take long.  1. Frank Sinatra, 2. Elvis Presley, 3. The Beatles, 4.  hmm.  Slim Whitman?  You know what the fuck I’m talking about.  THAT was Michael Jackson.

I never paid much attention to the other shit which plagued his life after that.  He just seemed like a lonely person who never had the chance to be a kid.  I never expected another “Thriller.”  But he did make a couple pretty good records after “Thriller.” Was he a genius?  I don’t know.  I think we throw that moniker around too easily in the music business. Why don’t we save that for the bad-ass who figures out how to cure cancer.  And besides, I’m not sure there’s true genius in addiction.

I know this is late, but…

One of the top 3 reasons why I decided to pursue a career making records:  Dark Side of the Moon, and specifically the track “Us and Them.”  

I remember my older brother bringing the record home.  I think I was about 9 years old.  He had a pair of shitty Koss headphones which were all the rage.  I’d sneak in listens while he was away and dream of making records in England.  

A few years ago a surround version on SACD was released.  At the time I was also mixing a lot of music in surround for SACD, so I had a surround set up in the studio, ready to go.  What a wake up call.  35 years later and the quality of the songwriting, the production, the recording is still better than 99% of the shit being released today.  I remember just saying to myself, “WTF, how do you top that?”  

Sometimes it makes me want to quit the biz, to give up on an art that has been both best friend and nemesis since I can remember, mostly because I feel I am just fighting the wrong fight.  But then I have a night like last night, when I pop that disc in and “Us and Them” surrounds my head.  When Rick Wright’s AMAZING melodies and textures fill my studio, I feel like that 9 year old again.  I plug in the mics, I move the faders, and aspire to match one of the greatest works in the history of recorded music.  

Thank you Rick Wright.